Why this the worst fight scene EVER!
This scene is from the movie Cui hua kuang mo (Undefeated), Watch it first (also available at the bottom of the post) and then come back here for the blow by blow.
At 00:01 - The stench starts pretty early. The Bad Guy (BG) brings a knife to his face and licks it. Not really scary but what makes it worse is that when he brings the knife to his face, the actor takes a quick glance at the knife to guage its distance from his face.
00:06 - What is that sound? Is he supposed to be spitting.
00:08 - Good Guy (GG) looks confused, not like “what is this crazy guy going to do?” but more like “what do I do to not look so stupid?”
00:22 - GG saves some spit for the second punch to his face.
00:29 - BG doesn’t see the week back-punch coming. BTW, who is he looking at?
00:32 - This move is called “I twirl around, scratch your back and two layers of clothing tear off.” Most awesome move ever!
00:34 - The screams become more incessant.
00:37 - GG looks at the shreds of BG’s shirt in his hand and then decides to take his off?
00:43 - Inspired by GG, BG takes his shirt off.
00:47 - They are all oiled up for the occasion.
00:47 to 01:03 - Nothing significant. Just your normal b-movie screaming in e-v-e-r-y shot.
01:03 - This seems like a general problem with movies. The characters forget they have TWO hands. If one hand is grabbed, you can still use the other.
01:08 - BG regains his memory. Realizes he has hands AND legs.
01:24 - BG thought ticker: “Oh yes! The big-ass knife on the floor. Maybe I should use it.”
01:33 - BG tries to stab GG. GG stops that by grabbing BB’s arm. But these guys are so lubed up that GG’s hand slides to BB’s wrist. This sounds like gay porn.
01:36 - GG puts a claw grip on BB’s face. Again, what is BB’s left hand doing?
01:51 - Wait, wait. Let me get this straight. GG’s Girl arrives, sees the two men fighting. Happens to look down, see wet towels, picks it up and then attacks BG with it. What a woman!
01:59 - Now instead of two people incessantly screaming, we have three.
02:02 - None of the punches seem to land. But BG is sent reeling into the wall where he gets stuck to the wall. When he finally pulls his head out, he bleeds heavily. Be careful of those sticky walls children!
02:10 - The actor playing GG is generally bad but the expression here is priceless.
02:22 - Hahaha! BG is supposed to lift the girl onto a box. But the whole effect is lost because we can clearly see her actually stepping up onto the box.
02:25 - That’s a big stunt double.
02:33 - GG’s expression is supposed to read “I’ve taken a beating to my stomach” but instead it reads “I got to barf!”
02:39 - Girl in sling takes the softest punches from BG. One such move is a two hand push.
02:49 - What the…? Never mind.
03:01 - Of course, BG forgets that he has two working hands while he gets lifted off the ground by his eye-socket.
03:15 - Girls says “we will keep an eye out for you, Stingray!” Alright, not bad. It is what it is. Then GG says “Yea, (pause) see ya!” Hahahahahaahh!!!!!
Update: I stand corrected (funniest Ticklebooth comment ever)
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2 Responses to “Why this the worst fight scene EVER!”
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Oh man, your breakdown of this scene is so biased! You don’t know true martial artists when you see them. Let me see if i can clear some things up for you.
:01 BG is actually licking barbecue sauce off the knife. That is why gg had the look on his face…he wanted the sauce.
06: That “sound” is actually an ancient Shaolin fighting slur. Jeez.
:08 Duh! gg looks confused because he didn’t realize bad guy was trained in Shaolin Do martial arts!
:22 How insensative of you! gg actually has a Neurodegenerative Disease that causes him to drool.
:29 Those trained in Shaolin Do look away from their opponent to create confusion.
:32 Actually, an intelligent fighting technique used by gg, as Shaolin Do are highly offended by having any clothing removed.
:34 I mean come on…his medical jacket has been torn. This is an important moment.
:37 gg realized he had fought without honor accoring to the Shaolin Do. So, he took off his shirt.
:43 Well yeah. This is an honorable fight.
:47 They are sweating from 47 seconds of martial arts. The Shaolin Do technique is very taxing to the body.
:47-1:03 Each of those screams means something buddy! Ever been to a martial arts class? They scream a lot. Wow, you are so clueless.
1:03 A typical comment from one not trained in the arts. Things happen to fast for use of both hands at times.
1:08 He was saving hands and legs for when he most needed them. A common virtue in Shaolin Do is to save your best weapons until you need them.
1:24 Ohhh boy. Everyone knows that one with weapon is more vulnerable because they tend to use just the one weapon. That’s why he had been staying away from the knife. Plus, there was no sauce left on it.
1:33 I can assure you that these 2 followers of the arts would not participate in gay porn.
1:36 I’m sorry, what does “bb” stand for? He’s saving his hand for when he most needs it.
1:51 If you’ve ever been “snapped” by a towell you’d know towells can be deadly weapons. Obviously, this lady is trained in the arts.
1:59 Well, yeah.
2:02 Even better, what happened to the towell hanging from the wall? Seriously though, he got his eye poked with a towell hook.
2:10 He is saddened that his worthy opponent has been injured in such a way. Obvious reaction.
2:22 He attempted to lift her by her neck. In response, she stepped up…thus saving her life! DUH!
2:25 What stunt double?
2:33 Blows to the stomach from one trained in the arts can leave you feeling sick to the stomach.
2:39 BG was trying to push her into one of those towell hangers.
2:49 Best scene ever! What a kick! He kicked him right into that hook! That takes training.
3:01 Saving his hands again.
3:15 Man, you are so lost. Her diologue you had correct. However, “Ye Ci Ya” means “go softly worthy opponent” in Shaolin. Not sure how you missed that.
If I may, I would like to suggest a few books for youto read:
“The Anatomy Of A Streetfight” by Paul Vunak
“A Dictionary of the Martial Arts” by
Frederic/Crompton
“The Martial Way and Its Virtues” by Franklin Chu
“T’ai Chi For Dummies” by Therese Iknoian
Hopefully, if you read some of this literature you will be able to properly diagnose a martial arts encounter in the future.
Thanks
Ya Ci Ya
Scott, I saw the scene and it looks dumb. Not acted properly.
Like a parody or just simply, bad acting.
I was laughing at first because I thought it was a parody of fighting sequences. If it’s not, they have a problem…